Absent affection

Squishy, warm,

Firm, distant,

Stiff, awkward,

Warm, tight,

Quick, side arm,

Energetic, tight,

Clingy, sweaty.

Each person feels different.

Strange and uncomfortable;

Sensations I am not used to.

New strangers,

New feelings.

They make me feel

Happy and loved;

Feelings I am not used to.

Unloved and unworthy;

Those are comfortable.


I will need time and practice

To learn to give and accept

These new things called HUGS.

By Adelle Norg

So probably not very good as a poet but I want to try.   I am taking an online course on poetry so I can remember from my school days when I dabbled in it.   It seems so foreign to me now.   Poetry can get my feelings out faster so I really like it.   It can be extremely powerful.   So I hope you’ll bear with me as I try my hand at this.

I wrote this poem after hearing from a youth that he isn’t used to hugs.   He likes them, especially when he is depressed, because they make him feel happy and safe but no one really gives them to him.   How sad!

How many youth are hug deprived?   Have you hugged your youth or young adults lately?   After a discussion with one of our boys who was behaving quite miserably, he informed us that he needs more hugs.   We thanked him for telling us and reminded him that we are not mind readers and he needs to keep telling us when he feels his love tank depleted.   We do our best to nab each child every day and hug them and tell them they are loved but with 8 kids in the house it’s easy to miss a day or two or a child or two.

The Smalley Institute has an article that has 14 facts about hugs.  It says that hugs stimulate production of oxycotin (the love hormone), lower blood pressure, reduce anxiety and depression, boosts immune systems, deepens relationships, stimulates the nervous system, alleviate fears and relieves pain.  How can one action do so much?   It sounds like a wonder-drug when the benefits are listed together.

Kids today need more hugs than ever.   Depression and anxiety are at record levels.  They spend so much time thinking they are connecting with their friends through online platforms that they don’t notice that they haven’t had any physical attention.  If your teen is giving you a bit of a hard time, try increasing your hugs every day and see if it improves your child’s mood.  It doesn’t just ring true for teens.   Try giving your spouse a hug or increase the number you give already.   Parents tend to hug tiny people more and once they grow up a while, the hugging tends to slow down.   Remember to hug your big kids too.



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