Testing, Testing 1,2,3

One of the hardest parts of being a mom is when your child is in pain.   One of the hardest things a child will have to reconcile is why your mom would allow pain.

Mother’s are supposed to protect and prevent injury to their children but what if the very things designed to help your child are painful?

My husband takes our littles to the lab each time blood work is requested.  I can’t do it anymore.   The last time, I had my little one pinned down with one leg and both arms, she peed on me on purpose just so I was well aware of how mad she was at me for allowing this pain to happen.   Listening to their cries made me cry.   Seeing the confusion in their eyes as they wondered why I wasn’t stopping the mean lady from hurting them was unbearable to my momma’s heart.

Blood work, pulmonary function tests, ultrasounds, x-rays and throat swabs are some of the things I subject my littles to on purpose.   They don’t understand yet, why I allow them to endure these things.

One of the hardest parts about having children with Cystic Fibrosis is watching or holding them through pain.   I wish I could take it for them.   I wish they didn’t have to endure it.    All I can do is advocate for them and try to make sure that the doctors and nurses are being as kind and gentle as they can be.

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A healthy child will never comprehend what going to the clinic means for our littles.   Mother’s who have had to hold their child while getting routine vaccinations will have some idea of what CF Mommas go through and it’s no fun.   We want to be loving and be the mom who makes them happy.

When we use terminology like CF Warrior, and Fight for CF we are reminding ourselves that we are in a battle every day.   That we do our best to protect our babies (no matter how old) and we keep faith, strength and courage close.   We draw on the strength, encouragement and support of our friends and family.    Your words of encouragement and offers of meals, rides, babysitting or even staying at the hospital are what help us to continue.   We draw on the knowledge of those who have blazed the trail before us; other CF Mommas who have gone down the same road and can truly understand our grief, frustrations, and anxiety.

The tests are necessary evils so that the professionals can make sure our littles are doing well or to find out how unwell they are.   We can’t stop them.   They will require more and more as they age and this disease begins to take a harder toll on their bodies.

On this day, the 7th day of May, which is Cystic Fibrosis awareness month, I hope that I have enlightened someone to the painful and difficult side of this disease.   I hope that more people will donate to the cause when they understand how traumatic all the tests are to them.   I hope that one day the only tests they will need are check ups to make sure they are healthy.   In the mean time, I hope that my littles will one day grow up to know just how much it hurt me to see them in pain.   I hope they realize the effort we put into their health and the testing we endure alongside them was because we love them so much and want them to live as long as possible.

 

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