She ruins marriages.
She steals our self-confidence.
She makes us depressed.
She never shuts up!
Negative Nancy needs to die.
Negative Nancy sits on our shoulder. You know her well. She is the one who is constantly being mean, rude, telling you that you aren’t good enough, making you grumpy and stealing your joy. Some days she can be so loud that Sweet Suzie can’t be heard at all.
I have been at many girlfriend gatherings. Something that is bound to happen is one woman starts to complain about her husband. The next one agrees and adds to her negativity and before you know it we’ve all spiraled down the male bashing, husband trashing trail. Guess where that leads?
Have you ever been there? Did it make you want to run home and have sex with your husband? Probably not!
Sadly we don’t even need the girlfriends help to get us complaining. Negative Nancy works hard all by herself to try and bring every little thing we feel isn’t great about our husbands to light. She wants us to pick, to complain, to minimize the good things and focus on the bad things. The more negative thoughts we allow her to hang on to, the more things we find to pick at and after a short period of time we find ourselves completely unsatisfied with our husbands. Guess where that leads? Unhappy wife = unhappy life = unhappy husband. Ironically, unhappy husband gives Negative Nancy even more to be miserable about leading to a very unhappy marriage.
Are you there now? I hope not, but I know many couples are.
Today, I want to encourage you to spot all of Negative Nancy’s lies and complaints and negative thoughts. Every thought that is negative throw out. Do NOT speak them. Put them out of your mind and each time a negative thought about your husband jumps into your mind, replace it quickly with something good about him. Speak that! Allow Sweet Suzie to take over and start telling him all the good and positive things. If he’s not home, at least think of them in your mind.
When our attitudes towards our husbands improve, so do our marriages.
For some this may seem like a very difficult thing to do. “You don’t know my husband” you may be saying. It doesn’t matter. If you want to have a better marriage isn’t it worth a try? “I don’t know how we got here” or “we just don’t feel happy anymore” are two of the common themes I have heard from friends whose marriages have ended or are on rocky ground. Now imagine what would happen if you are in that place of not feeling love towards someone but you intentionally, daily, hourly, begin to think of the positives, praise them, find the good and throw away the negativity. Can you see how just one person can change a relationship?
Men need praise. Women need appreciation. Men need lots of physical touch and reasons to feel manly. Women need to feel sexy and admired. When we start making sure our partners are feeling good, we feel good too! When they feel good, they are happier and that too makes us feel good.
Negative Nancy is the Cyclone of death to a marriage. If you want to have a better marriage, shut her up. Cut all ties and try to give Sweet Suzie more airtime.
* Adelle has been married to her husband for 20 years making her a veteran Negative Nancy killer.